Professional Advice From A Lesbian
by Roxius
Summary: Chisame and Chachamaru are enjoying their time together, only for it to be interrupted by Fuuka, who has a startling confession! ChisaChacha and FuukaFumika...THAT'S RIGHT! TWINCEST! It's over, so come up with your own endings, okay?
1. Chapter 1

It was a peaceful, calm night. As Chisame laid in bed, side by side with her beloved Chachamaru-chan, she finally felt at peace. Nuzzling her face into her lover's chest, Chisame let out a content sigh. 'I just hope nothing ever ruins this moment...'

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

Chisame's eyes snapped open and she let out a low groan. 'WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?' Glancing over at the green-haired robot girl sleeping peacefully beside her, Chisame sighed and got up to answer the door.

Chisame had just tossed on a shirt over herself when another series of knockings emitted from behind the front door. "HOLD YOUR GODDAMN HORSES!!!" Chisame snapped. She was dealing with enough shit already.

That was when, instead of more banging, a small voice whined in reply, "P-Please open up, Chisame-san...I need your help..." 'Isn't that Fuuka Narutaki's voice?' thought the bespectacled girl. Sighing again, Chisame ran over and swung the door open.

Standing in the doorway of Chisame's dorm room was a very teary-eyed Fuuka, her little body shaking nervously. This was the first time Chisame had ever seen the young girl with a look of pure sadness on her face. It made things even more uncomfortable.

"Are you okay, Fu-" Before Chisame could finish speaking, Fuuka pulled Chisame into a hug and began sobbing hard into the older girl's clothes. Unable to come up with any comforting words at the time, Chisame just stood there and let Fuuka cry.

* * *

"Are you feeling better now?" 

After Fuuka finally stopped crying, Chisame sat her down at the table and made her a cup of hot tea. Although there were still some tears in Fuuka's eyes, she had calmed down enough to be able to speak her mind. "T-T-Thank you, Chisame-san..." whimpered the poor girl.

"It's no problem..." Chisame replied as she placed the cup of tea down on the table. 'Of course, I wish you could have waited UNTIL morning for this...' Chisame thought sullenly, trying to stifle a yawn.

Taking a seat next to Fuuka, Chisame tried to put on her best 'Big Sister' face and asked, "So...what's wrong, Fuuka-chan?"

Suddenly, Fuuka's face flushed a deep crimson. Bringing her eyes to the ground, Fuuka mumbled something quietly under her breath. "...What did you say?" Chisame asked, leaning in closer to hear.

Lifting up her head, Fuuka blinked away more tears as she exclaimed, "CHISAME-SAN, I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH FUMIKA!!!"

"Hold on...Isn't...Isn't Fumika...?"

"AHH! AHH! CHISAME-SAN, I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING PERSON! I'M IN LOVE WITH MY TWIN SISTER!!!"

"Now, now...no need to get upset..."

"NO! NO NO NO! I CAN'T DO THIS! I JUST CAN'T-"

"WAIT, FUUKA! HOLD ON!"

Chisame quickly grabbed Fuuka into a powerful embrace and smothered the girl's cries with her chest. 'This is not only probably considered rape, but it's really uncomfortable. Still, it's the only way to stop her from screaming...' Chisame thought nervously.

Glancing over at her bedroom door, Chisame was somewhat surprised that Chachamaru had been woken up by all the noise yet. Once Fuuka had finally given up on freaking out, Chisame let her go and sighed. "I'm sorry I got so upset like that..." Fuuka mumbled with a small hiccup.

"It's...okay..." Chisame mumbled as she patted Fuuka's shoulder encouragingly. Suddenly, Fuuka said, "No...it'll never be okay...I'm in love with my own sister...nothing will ever be okay..."

"Look...are you completely sure that you're in love...with Fumika...?" Chisame asked reluctantly. Being gay was one thing, but being gay AND having a crush on your sister is something completely different. Chisame felt a little nervous as she went over all the ways you can feel when you love someone:

Chisame - "Do you feel a strange warm feeling whenever this person smiles, touches your hand, or is just nearby?"

Fuuka - "...Yeah..."

Chisame - "Do you sometimes have dreams of being intimate with said person...?"

Fuuka - "Uh-huh..."

Chisame - "Have you ever nearly admitted your love to said person?"

Fuuka - "Y-Yeah...that's why I ran here in the first place..."

Blinking a few times, Chisame realized something strange. "Why did you come here of all places anyway? I'm sure Negi-sensei or Asuna or whatever could have been more help to you..."

"Well, since it's well-known on campus that you and Chachamaru are a couple now, I thought I could get some real advice from another...lesbian..." Fuuka replied with a little smirk.

'Now THIS is the Fuuka I know!' Chisame thought while returning the smile. Patting the little girl on the head, Chisame said, "You know, all you need to do is let your feelings be heard. It just might end up a happy ending for both of you, you know..."

"I'm not too sure. Fumika's such a sweet girl," Fuuka replied sadly, "She wouldn't want to get in trouble by forming a relationship with...me...her twin sister..." When tears started forming in Fuuka's eyes again, Chisame tried to calm her as quickly as possible.

After all was said and done, Chisame sent Fuuka away and wished her luck on finding happiness. "Thank you, Chisame-san!" Fuuka called before turning around and running off to find Fumika.

Slamming the door behind her, Chisame let out a sigh and slumped up against the wall. 'Finally!' she thought, 'I can go back to sleep. That was one hell of a dilemma...I mean, twincest for christ's sake!'

Chisame dragged herself across the room and collapsed right down onto her bed, Chachamaru still lying there as stiff as a doll. "You really are a kind person, Chisa-chan..." whispered Chachamaru with a soft smile that made Chisame melt inside.

"It's what I do..." Chisame replied sarcastically. Chachamaru let out a low pur before reaching over and pulling her lover into a powerful kiss, their bodies entangling one another.

That was when they both realized that Kamo was sitting on the desk nearby, watching the entire scene...

* * *

Pairings I want to write about for Negima! I might not ever end up writing fics for some of these, but oh well: 

Asuna X Ayaka

Mana X Chao or Chao X Ku Fei

Eva X Kaede or Any Girl Except Chisame, Chachamaru or the twins

Kotaro X Chizuru or Natsume (Yeah, Negima het that ISN'T with Negi...)

Asakura X Sayo

More Yue X Nodoka

An actual Chisame X Chachamaru fic (Won't see this for a while though, since I write too much Chisame already...)

Makie X Ako or something...

Misora X Zazie or Misora X Cocone Crack FTW!

Negi X Kamo...YEAH...NO!!! WTF? (I'm joking about this one...)

Although KonoSetsu is practically canon, I don't really like it so much. Probably because Konoka is so plain and there are alot more interesting (and better-looking) people to be paired up.

Yeah, I'm a Negima fan now...sigh...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thou shall ask, thou shall recieve: chapter two! Heck, I might even make a chapter 3! (There most likely will be a 3rd chapter)

* * *

It was the moment of truth. Fuuka was standing outside the door into her and Fumika's dorm room, and her heart was beating harder than ever. Pressing her hand on the doorknob, Fuuka closed her eyes and thought, 'Oh god...it's finally time...it's finally time to reveal my feelings for her...' Taking a deep breath, Fuuka swung the door open. 

"FUMIKA, I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU!"

However, the moment the door opened up completely, Fuuka found herself face to face with Fumika, whose face was wet with tears...

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, KAMO?" Chisame screeched at the perverted ermine. Chuckling, Kamo lit a cigar and replied, "You know, Chisame, I'm pretty impressed; you actually went out of your way to help Fuuka with her 'little' problem...I commend you for that..." 

"Don't try and make yourself sound like some cocky villain...Besides, it's what I do...I can be nice, you know..." Chisame muttered as she curled back up next to Chachamaru, who was sleeping peacefully. Shrugging his shoulders and grinning, Kamo headed back to sleep in his special pile of panties.

* * *

Fuuka was about to ask Fumika what was wrong when she was suddenly slapped hard across the face, knocking her to the ground. Still crying pretty hard, Fumika exclaimed, "FUUKA-CHAN, WHY DID YOU JUST RUN AWAY LIKE THAT? YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK! DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!" 

Then, Fumika let out one more small cry before turning around and running back to her room, leaving Fuuka lying there confused and shocked. 'What the hell was that about?' Fuuka asked herself furiously as she rubbed her bruised cheek.

Picking herself up off the ground, Fuuka ran over to their room, only to find the door locked tight. "OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, FUMIKA!" Fuuka screamed as she banged her fists on the door, "I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT...SOMETHING THAT COULD CHANGE US! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!"

After a few moments of silence, Fumika slowly opened the door and sat down on her bed, tears still pouring from her eyes. "W...What do you want...?" Fumika asked as she tried to give off the impression that she was still mad. Fuuka smiled at her twin sister and sat down next to her.

"Listen, Fumika...I...I...I...I love you!"

Blinking a few times, Fumika smiled her cute little smile and happily replied, "That's sweet, Fuuka-chan, but I know that already! That's why we're sisters!" However, Fuuka wasn't about to give up so easily.

Grabbing her sister by the shoulders, Fuuka shouted, "NO, FUMIKA! I DON'T LOVE YOU JUST AS A SISTER...I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY! I...I WANT TO BE YOUR LOVER!"

* * *

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Chisame swore as loudly as she could as she sat up in bed. "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?" the bespectacled girl screamed, making her way to the front door. Swinging the door open, Chisame saw that it was Makie who was at the door, and she was close to tears.

Almost immediately, she wrapped her arms around Chisame and cried, "C-CHISAME-CHAN, HELP ME! YUUNA-CHAN JUST TRIED TO KISS ME! WHAT DO I DO? WAAAAAHH!!!" Grumbling, Chisame offered Makie a seat and thought, 'What am I to these girls...their special lesbian cupid?'

As Chisame brewed Makie a quick cup of tea, Chachamaru peeked out through the bedroom door and smiled to herself. 'It's nice seeing Chisame act so social with all the other girls...' the robot girl thought happily before closing the door.


End file.
